Recipes


The Infamous Fuck You Cookies
March 25th, 2012|Submit Comment »

Chocolate and Pecan Cookies 600x450 The Infamous Fuck You Cookies

Nothing says, “Hi, I hate your guts” like these cookies. They look beautiful, are perfectly cooked, sweet, crispy and taste like shit. I love giving these to people I hate. Sometimes I bring in a batch to work and leave them in the kitchen.

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Lentil Coconut Curry Soup with Chicken
March 2nd, 2012|Submit Comment »

Lentil Coconut Curry Soup 600x467 Lentil Coconut Curry Soup with ChickenWhen my mom first landed in America in 1969, she ended up on Church Avenue in Brooklyn. Not exactly what she pictured her new life in America would look like, but it was better than what she had before in Albania.

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Vodka Sauce – Hate Mail!
February 14th, 2012|Submit Comment »

Not Rachel Rays vodka sauce 600x400 Vodka Sauce   Hate Mail!

From time to time I get hate mail, actually It’s most days, but this one cracked me up. It’s regarding my Pro-Marriage Vodka Sauce that goes up against Rachel Ray’s anti LGBT Vodka Sauce. 

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Shishito Peppers
November 27th, 2011|1 Comment

shishito pepper 600x400 Shishito PeppersShishito Peppers

Rumor has it 1 in 100 of these will burn you so bad that you’ll die. Not sure how true that is, but it’s worth the risk.
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Chicken Thighs with Chimichurri Sauce
October 24th, 2011|2 Comments

Chimichurri Sauce 600x428 Chicken Thighs with Chimichurri Sauce

Chicken Thighs with Chimichurri Sauce

I just stared eating chimichurri sauce a few years ago and figured out the 2 tricks you need to remember to make it memorable. First, always add oregano and second, drizzle it over chicken thighs.

Chicken Thighs

It’s best to BBQ over medium heat for 45 minutes, but if you don’t have a grill just use your oven.

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees. Cover your thighs in Olive Oil and a sprinkle with salt and pepper on each side. In a single layer place them in the oven and bake for about 45 minutes.

: Chimichurri Sauce
  1. 2 Tablespoons Italian Parsley – Chopped
  2. 2 Tablespoons Oregano -Chopped
  3. ½ teaspoon Salt
  4. ½ Teaspoon Black Pepper
  5. ¼ Teaspoon Red Pepper Flakes
  6. ¼ Cup Olive Oil

  1. Mix all of the ingredients and set aside for at least one hour. Use a fork to drizzle the herbs over your warm chicken.


Mashed Cauliflower
October 10th, 2011|1 Comment

Mashed Cauliflower 600x428 Mashed Cauliflower

I go through a cycle of diets — no-carb, low-carb, vegetarian, vegan, liquid, no-sugar and the no-salt diet. I like switching between them. The problem is they last a month before I go back to eating regular food for a while, then pick the next diet. I know, unhealthy.

I do find it odd when someone goes on one of these extreme diets and they use so many substitutions. You’re giving something up for a reason; why eat a substitute full of chemicals and other crap just to get something that kinda/almost tastes like the original?

My mother is constantly going on (and off, an then back on) her BFFs diet, the Atkins Diet. I remember her lighting a candle the day he died. She was so distraught over his passing. She called the clinic asking where the funeral was and they kindly told her it’s only for friends and family, not idolaters.

When she’s on Atkins, she eats vegetables, meats and cheeses. That’s it. So many times she’s asked me to make the “Fake Mashed Potatoes.” I always have to remind her that it’s Mashed Cauliflower and not fake mashed potatoes.

 

: Mashed Cauliflower

  1. 3 Heads of Cauliflower – Chopped
  2. ½ Cup Half and Half
  3. ¾ Cup Milk
  4. 5 Tablespoons Butter, divided
  5. 1 Teaspoon Salt
  6. 3 Tablespoons Sour Cream
  7. 8 Sage Leaves – Chopped

  1. In a large pot, add all of the ingredients except 1 tablespoon of butter, the sour cream and the sage leaves. Cover and cook over medium-low heat for 20 minutes, or until the cauliflower is tender.
  2. Once cooked, add to a processor and process until smooth. Then add the sour cream and process for a few more seconds.
  3. In a small pan, add the remaining 1 tablespoon of butter and the sage leaves. Cook for 3 minutes on low heat until the sage is crispy. Plate the cauliflower and pour the butter and sage mixture on top.

Number of servings (yield): 8


Brooklyn Shrimp Salad
August 3rd, 2011|3 Comments

Brooklyn Shrimp Salad 600x400 Brooklyn Shrimp SaladThis recipe is named after my least favourite borough of New York City: Brooklyn! It may be the home of Lil’ Kim, but I just can’t bring myself to move there. I avoid it as much as I can. But for some reason, all the cool, good-looking smokers have inhabited it.

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Cold Pea and Edamame Soup
June 28th, 2011|1 Comment

Cold Pea Soup 600x427 Cold Pea and Edamame SoupGrowing up, my parents didn’t see a need for children to go to the doctor. My mom thought soaking a broken ankle in salt water would realign the bones and my dad’s remedy for everything was a little whiskey (the alcohol kills any germs that are making you sick, right?). And my mom’s cure for a stomachache? 7-Up. She said it would put the fire out. I actually believe my mother thought there was a real fire in my belly.

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Grouper with Mango
May 24th, 2011|1 Comment

Grouper with Mango 600x428 Grouper with Mango

I recently went to the land of retired doormen, elevator men and porters: Puerto Rico! Nothing like what I had expected. Growing up, the only Puerto Ricans I knew were either in gangs, worked in my building or came out of hiding on a random Sunday in June for a parade. OK, OK… not all of them, but enough for me to make a statement like that without worrying about a serious challenge. It is one of the most absolutely beautiful and tranquil places I have ever been.

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Linguini with Clam Sauce
May 17th, 2011|2 Comments

linguini clam sauce social chef 600x400 Linguini with Clam Sauce

Cooking with clams makes me nervous — almost as nervous as I felt for Star Jones when Nene Leakes delivered her verbal beat down on Celebrity Apprentice. It was so intense that Obama went and nabbed Osama bin Laden in order to interrupt The Donald’s show. Props to the President for sparing us watching three black contestants leave the show in one episode. I see a trend at NBC. Watch your back Al Roker!!!!

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