I was a fat kid (whereas today I like to think I’m just a little husky). I remember I used to make myself the craziest sandwiches and invite friends over to try them out. Rumor has it that Luther Vandross used to make sandwiches with glazed doughnuts instead of bread. My hero! I used my friends as an excuse to be an artist, but in reality I was just hungry. My friend Stefani used to come over all the time after school and I would make sandwiches for us while she sang love songs to me. We had so much fun. As the years went by, we drifted apart; she eventually signed a record deal and now goes by the name of Lady Gaga. She apparently forgot about all the sandwiches I made her, so fuck you, Stefani!
